21 Things a Burglar Won’t Tell You!

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste … and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom—and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door—understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

16. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.

17. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.

21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Please share with your friends and family and feel free to add your own safety tips and advice!

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri–St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

Les Brown - You Gotta Be Hungry!

Les Brown on being hungry and seizing the moment when it arises!

Dress to Impress - Only at Wisesize

Dress to Impress at WiseSize.com

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

This is an awareness test - See how you do.

Both Marilyn and I scored at the top when we answered the question but missed the point of this ad. How did you do? Share your comments.

Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul) Peak Performance!

25 Life Cheat Codes!

1. Stop: Stop: Play. Skip advertisements in movies and go straight to the movie.

2. Dial 0 during most automatic menu phone systems to be taken to operator to route your call. Whenever you have a voice automated phone system, typically saying "representative" gets you someone right away.

3. When getting lectured into voice mail, hit 1, pause momentarily. If you aren't put through immediately, hit *, pause. Finally, hit # if neither 1 or * worked. It is called the 1-star-pound technique, and it works for all cell carriers.

4. At the end of your shower turn the water really (or all the way) cold. This will wake you up and get the blood flowing.

5. Macy's credit cards usually have a 20% discount on purchases. I pay with the Macy's card, and then while still at the register, I immediately pay off the charge with my debit card. I just got 20% off my purchase and I never get a credit card bill. - This also works with JCP and kohl's cards.

6. How to eliminate late movie rental fees: Acquire late fees, call and tell them you lost the movies, they wipe the fees and put the cost of the movies on your account. Bring the movies back saying you found them, they wipe the cost of the movies, and now your account is back to zero. This can work in other situations such as libraries as well.

7. Buy things out of season, this can save you money. Unless its food, then buy it in season.

8. When you have forgotten someone’s name, simply say : "I'm sorry, but what was your name one more time." They may act offended, but when they give you there first name you simply reply "No, I meant your last name." (More socially acceptable to forget). Bingo. First and last names.

9. Gently work an orange in your hands to loosen the peel from the fruit. This makes it easy enough to get the whole peel in one shot.

10. Holding your car remote up under your chin and opening your mouth increases the range you can unlock the car from.(This is a good one)

11. If you get a ticket on the windshield of your car, you can potentially get away with parking illegally in the same lot for a few more days (or at least for the remainder of that day) by keeping the ticket on your windshield.

12. Most tinfoil and saran wrap boxes have little push-in tabs on the sides. If you push them in, the roll won't fall out when you try to rip out a sheet of it.

13. If you are driving an unfamiliar car and you don't know which side the gas tank is on, just look at the little pump icon next to the gas gauge on the dashboard. The pump handle on the icon will be on the side of the tank.

14. When you park, always reverse into the parking space. It is much easier to reverse into a confined space than into a place where other people drive. You are also more alert. The chance of an accident is reduced dramatically.

15. To get through tech support quickly with an ISP, choose the option for becoming a new customer. Then when you get there ask to transfer to tech support. Usually they won't put you on hold because they see the number coming from the new customer line.

16. When you're giving a presentation, bring a bottle of water up to the podium. If you find yourself in a spot where you blank, taking a drink will allow you to gather your thoughts. Nobody will be the wiser.

17. If your paper is just a bit short of the length guidelines, do a find/replace for all your punctuation in 2 font sizes larger. The extra spacing may give you the few lines you need without changing the letter font size.

18. Sprinkle some salt on your napkin coaster at the bar. Your beer won't stick to it every time.

19. Lift yourself a little off the toilet if noise is a concern and you're having a particularly gaseous bowel movement. The volume will decrease at least 50-60%.

20. Drop a square of Toilet Paper in the toilet, it will break the surface tension and prevent splash back.

21. On most elevators, press "close door" and your floor number at the same time for express service. You will skip all floors between even if people are calling the elevator.

22. If you feel uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes when they're talking to you, look at their nose instead. They cannot tell the difference.

23. Always get in the leftmost line. Unless you're in Britain, then get in the rightmost queue. People naturally line up on the same side that they're used to driving on the road.

24. Tie a knot to one of your earphone wires right at the top, to easily distinguish from left to right.

25. When receiving a call from a solicitor, simply press 9; the call will be dropped and your phone number is then put on the companies do not call list. 95% of companies support this feature.

Chris Farley Interviews Paul McCartney - Two Great Legends - Very Funny

If you have followed or seen our blog posts, you know we are a big Beatles fan as well as anything truly funny. This SNL skit combines both of those loves...Chris Farley (a true great comedian) and Paul McCartney (playing the straight man).